Welcome to episode #5 in our short series exploring
various tips for the newly retired. Before
we address the tip of the day, however, we must respond to a
scurrilous accusation that has come to our attention.
It has been alleged that the factual content in this blog
series is a complete fabrication.
Specifically, it is asserted that there is no retirement PowerPoint
briefing, that the so-called theories of “Expected Surprise Stupor Syndrome”
and “Yankee-Dodger Oriental Dualism” have been completely made up out of whole
cloth, and that the lack of any cited references calls into question whether
any research at all has been performed in support of this blog’s claims. In summation, my critics contend that I am
guilty of, and I quote, “making things up that are not true.”
Well, where to begin.
Of course I deny the accusation, and had it been made to my face, I would
surely demand satisfaction on the field of honor. Such slanderous imputations cannot go
unanswered. My defense is simply this: I
only make things up that are true.
Here I stand. I can do no other.
While that should be sufficient for most reasonable people,
I will take a moment to provide insight into my research methodology. As noted in a previous episode, computer-based
search engines and AI technologies fall short of meeting the rigorous
scientific demands of a blog such as ours.
Instead, I turn to a reliable and time-tested source: my local
librarian. Whether you are studying the trials
of the early Reformers, investigating details of colonization-era land grants,
or simply riding your bicycle across the country, it’s nice to know you have
the unqualified support, nay, the undying devotion, of your local
librarian. You shouldn’t go anywhere
without one. I’m sure I never do.
But enough of this fol-de-rol, on to weightier matters. Today we consider retirement Tip #21:
- Tip #21: Observe the behaviors and habits of others who have been successfully retired for several years. Are there approaches you can emulate in your own life?
Do you have a retirement hero? If not, it's time to get out there and find one. In the two months since I retired, I have
driven thousands of miles across this great country of ours, through desert, forest,
mountain, and plain, visiting with various retirement experts and studying
their ways. And what have I learned
during this great road trip pilgrimage?
Three things:
- There are an awful lot of bugs in this great country of ours, most of them hovering between 3-5 feet off the ground over the vast network of interstate highways and rural roads that crisscross our nation.
- The quality of gas station squeegees varies widely by retailer chain. (Love’s is the best, with an extra-long handle and a streak-free rubber blade. And inside the store, they have more rolling hot dogs than you can shake a stick at. John Lennon was right: Love’s is the answer.)
- The Avis company apparently has a policy that levies an extra surcharge if clients bring back their rental cars “excessively dirty”. One wonders: how many bugs in the grill count as “excessive”?
But I learned other things on my travels as well. I enjoyed spending time with several people whose retirement lifestyles I found truly inspirational:
- A retiree who crafts amazing metal sculptures: sunflowers, owls, sandhill cranes, flying pigs, and other fanciful delights of whimsy.
- A retiree who collects and collates countless artifacts of historical and personal family significance, housing them in a museum building that he constructed himself.
- A retiree who painstakingly goes through numerous family albums, consolidating pictures and adding descriptive context to create a single beautiful keepsake that can be treasured by multiple generations.
- A retiree who, along with a group of friends, is restoring a North American Texan T-6 airplane for the Commemorative Air Force.
Well, those are some of my heroes. The phrase “Go and do likewise” leaps to mind. Not that all of us possess the skills necessary to perform those particular activities, but we do what we can. As John Lennon once observed, “There's nothing you can do that can't be done.”
If you’re still struggling to identify your own retirement hero, let me suggest José Manuel Nieto (1734 - 1804), a former Spanish soldier and arguably the greatest retiree of all time. What made him so great? Well, to put Nieto into perspective, we should first discuss retirement gifts.
When I retired, I received a Tissot wristwatch from my employer. It’s a nice watch, although I had to view a 5-minute YouTube video from some guy in Germany before I could figure out how to unbuckle the clasp and get it on my wrist. To be fair, the watch wasn’t technically a retirement gift; it was an anniversary gift for 40 years of service with the company. The actual retirement gift from my employer arrived in the mail approximately two weeks after I retired: a thin 5” x 7” paperback book narrating the 108-year history of the company. No color pictures. Definitely not a coffee table book.
You might wonder what such a book might be worth. You might think one couldn’t possibly put a price on it. You would be wrong. As it turns out, I sold an exact copy of the book at an estate sale last month. Yes, it sold! For 2 dollars. Everything has its price.
But back to José Manuel Nieto. Did he receive a wristwatch on the occasion of his retirement here in the New World? A paperback book maybe? No. Señor Nieto received a land grant from the governor of Alta California. A land grant of 300,000 acres of what is now prime Southern California real estate, comprising large chunks of Los Angeles and Orange Counties, including cities like Long Beach, Anaheim, Downey, and Whittier, as well as a charming little stucco-clad bungalow that I like to call home.
You might wonder what Rancho Los Nietos, this land grant, is worth today. You might think one couldn’t possibly put a price on it. We will try. First, we must account for the fact that the size of the rancho was later reduced to (only!) 167,000 acres after disputes with the Mission San Gabriel. If we conservatively estimate the value of these 167,000 acres at an average price of $250,000 each, ignoring the fact that some of this land hosts major oil fields which would drive the value even higher, we are still left with $41.75 billion. Not too shabby, José Manuel.
For the Nietos, this naturally translated into inherited wealth that flowed through successive generations, culminating in the formation of multiple smaller ranchos distributed among various branches of the family. You can still visit some of the historic buildings and grounds at Rancho Los Cerritos, one of the best-preserved ranchos from this era. Parking is free, entry is free; it makes for a lovely half-day outing for those of us without land grants of our own.
Well, there you go, something to shoot for, if you want to model your retirement lifestyle after that of José Manuel Nieto’s. As for me, I think I’ll stick with my own retirement heroes, thank you very much. Sorry, kids.
One more quick note about Rancho Los Cerritos, as our time here is almost up. If you visit, you will not be surprised to see the blacksmith shop, the foreman’s quarters, the laundry room, the tool shed, the storage pantry, and the old adobe home. These are the sorts of things you would expect to find at a historic rancho. But you will also see something that you were not expecting, although perhaps you should have. It is something we should always expect to find wherever we search for knowledge and truth. No, it is not a smartphone, nor an electronic tablet, nor a computer monitor. It is, surprisingly enough, an actual working library, complete with a tangible card catalog and shelves stacked high with early edition books of great historical and scientific significance. Yes, housed on the grounds of Rancho Los Cerritos you will find a non-circulating reference library and archival collection, part of the Long Beach Public Library system, that serves as a resource for researchers and history enthusiasts like you and me. You probably didn’t know that, did you? See, I told you that you should never go anywhere without your local librarian!
Until next time,
David
7/11/25
PostScript. There is a reason we took such pains in today’s episode to introduce the importance of research libraries, particularly the one housed at Rancho Los Cerritos. In our next episode, we will reveal the surprising results of research conducted at that library: my rediscovery of long-forgotten folk wisdom useful for solving one of mankind’s most intractable problems. Do you honestly think I would make something like this up?
If you would like to find out if that question is merely rhetorical, and you’re not already a follower, you can contact me at dvd.davidvandyk@gmail.com to be notified when the next post is available.
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